My birthday unfortunately fell on a Tuesday.My folks just got ma a cute new car over the weekend and the 'general consensus' was that i should have a double celebration to mark the arrival of the car and my birthday.Unbeknownst to most people who made this suggestion,the circumstances surrounding the acquisition of this new automobile were rather shady.But thats another story for another day,so before i digress,lets get back to my birthday.A month before my birthday,i broke up with my boyfriend who i thought i was in love with(another story for another day),so you could say my heart was still in pieces,another reason to be gloomy.I told all my friends i wasnt planning anything for the big day,and i would appreciate it if we could all pretend it was a normal day.On monday evening however,i started to feel d pressure.My girls kept on asking me,
"babez what's the P for the evening?"
And then i got to thinking,
"this is my last b-day as an undergrad,i aint about 2 go out like no punk!"
A plan was born.
I left my mates in my room and drove out to one of our regular hang outs in town.it was monday night,about 2 weeks before finals so i was rather surprised to find not a few cars parked out there.unserious students.i went over to the main bar and bought a bottle of Smirnoff vodka(citrus-the red and the other one are too deadly for my system) and a pack of orange juice as the mixer.On my way back,bottle of vodka,OJ and about seven cups in my hands,i passed by my friend's younger brother and his friend(who had the hots for me) and they holla'd at me-wanted to know 'where the party at' and if i was gonna drink all that stuff alone.I told them my birthday was at midnight and i was expecting my friends and they were welcome to join us later.So i went over to my car,got in and called my friends to come over.Damn!I could hear the excitement in their voices!Nywayz,my master plan was to 'drink into my birthday!'Sounds silly now,i know,but its knida like December 31st when all i wanna do is 'drive into the new year!'
So my friends came over(minus one-she was with her man of the minute),i brought my car over to where they were and we bumped our heads to some old Jay-Z hits while i literally drowned my sorrows in vodka.
Allow me to digress a little here,vodka-drinking isnt exactly one of my strong points.On my previous birthday,i did pretty much the same thing,except with more friends and more alchy,not just vodka,that is.That day,i downed straight shot after straight shot of vodka like it was 'caliente tequila'(i love caliente,but believe me that shit is watered down and doesnt get me drunk).I knew i was gonna get drunk,so i didnt drive.By the end of the night,my friend and i were dancing in the middle of the road-which i dont remember,mind you,and our 'designated driver'-my other friend was teetering dangerously close to the edgr of sobriety.Oh well,we're used to living on the edge,so we 'allowed' her drive back to hostel 'cos we couldnt have done a better job.The events that followed i do not necessarily recall,but apparently i received a phone call while we were in the car,and when we got to my hostel gate,i answered another call.I vaguely remember staggering up the stairs to my room...hmm...i think i passed out when my head hit my pillow...zzzzzzz.Next thing i know is,i wake up the following morning,wondering where the hell i am and trying to recollect my thoughts.I noticed my phone wasnt around me,but i assumed i left it in my friend's car.To cut a long story short,my phone wasnt in my friend's car and i lost it shortly after answering the second call(i actually threw it out the window after hanging up).I ended up getting a new line and a new phone,after which the security personnel at my hostel gate found my old phone.True story.
Back to the present.I pretty much left everyone to their own devices while i got to know the guy i mentioned erlier who had the hots for me.He's a nice fella but unfortunately there just wasnt any chemistry.Doesn't that suck!My friends were busy fooling around with my digicam and making silly videos.I was almost happy and i had almost forgotten about my sorrow.Dont u just hate it when everything is going so well and then some fool has to come and 'rain on your parade','dull your shine',call it what u like...?!!!That 'fool'(which is only metaphorical btw) came in the form of my ex-boyfriend.He rolls up in his fancy car,parks across the road,leaves his new girlfriend in the car and crashes my mini-party with his friend in tow.(Honestly,i never really got over how quickly he moved on,it was almost as if he had the other chic on standby,just waiting for something to go wrong with us so she'ld step into my shoes).
Okay, so mr. I'm-oh-so-fly-my-game-is-tight comes over with his friend and wishes me a happy birthday,the friend does the same.So,its still aabout an hour to midnight,so i go,
"oh,thanks,but my birthday's not until tomorrow",
they say happy birthday in advance anyway and after exchanging 'hellos' woth a few other people,they leave as suddenly as they appeared.
In that moment when i saw my ex-boyfriend,my reality was shattered,or more appropriately,i was sucked back to reality.I remembered barely two months ago when me and him were still kicking it,and i automatically assumed we'ld be together on my birthday.That was probably one of the reasons why i didnt make any plans for the big day.
Except for that slight hitch,the rest of the night went considerably well.I drank-and drove into my birthday singing,
"look at the stars,look how they shine for you,
and everything you do,and it was all yellow..."
Yellow by Coldplay...
because it was a beautiful night and the stars littered the sky.I felt special in spite of everything on my mind.
I also reflected on my life so far and decided to start acting more responsible and get focused.It felt good to be graduating from uni at such a young age,but at the same time it was scary because it meant becoming an adult.I felt like 'Peter Pan',reluctant to grow up.At the end of the night,i finally came to terms with growing up,more like i embraced it.I couldnt wait to taste that uninhibited freedom,not having to answer to anyone(maybe my boss?),to have a stable source of income,get my own apartment,buy my own car,pay my own bills and finally meet the man i want to spend the rest of my life with and someday have his babies(not in any particular order tho').A dream?Maybe...
The fear which had been crawling under my skin,the fear of growing up,i realised was nothing more than the fear of the unknown.
xoxo.
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